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Singapore Polytechnic
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Friday, September 11, 2009
Mommy,
I thought I could get anything in this world if I had enough money
but I can't buy time.
All I want is a year
or even just a month.
If only I could buy time to spend with you.
Just one more day.
Just one more hour.
I never apprecieated the precious hours I spend with you. I spend them unwisely, fighting with you instead.
I guess it is true when they say human only realise how precious something can be once it's been taken away.
Why must it be you.
I won't question Allah anymore as it has been two years.
While I was waiting for you, I kept thinking
I thought of all the times you waited for me.
I thought about how tired,
about how lonely,
about how miserable you must have been.
I am aware that you are right beside me as I'm typing these words,
for it is Ramadhan.
I just wanted to say how miserable I have been.
My mind went blank, all I know was that I had to see you.
To tell you I miss you.
I'm not going to be foolish.
I won't dream of a great love.
I won't dream of a love that will last forever.
Those things will never come true.
I don't want to be hurt again.
I am so used to feeling lonely,
That loneliness thought me a sense of comfort.
But only gets bitter each day.
You and I were speaking the same language.
But we'll never understand each other.
That's because we're both so selfish
We were both screaming to make our voices heard.
That's why we drown each other out.
I did not meant to say any harsh words.
I'm sorry for not being a filial son.
I'm sorry for not understanding you while you were at the final stage of cancer.
You were right when you said you shouldnt have brought me up.
Although I understand you did not mean it.
Please forgive me, you left me too harshly.
But I can't buy time.
All I want is a year.
or even just a month,
just one more day
just one more hour
to say Thank You
I will treasure this life you gave me
I will make each day count
and I will never forget the sacrifices you made for me
Happy Ramadhan.
end of message,
rahmat khairudin
I thought I could get anything in this world if I had enough money
but I can't buy time.
All I want is a year
or even just a month.
If only I could buy time to spend with you.
Just one more day.
Just one more hour.
I never apprecieated the precious hours I spend with you. I spend them unwisely, fighting with you instead.
I guess it is true when they say human only realise how precious something can be once it's been taken away.
Why must it be you.
I won't question Allah anymore as it has been two years.
While I was waiting for you, I kept thinking
I thought of all the times you waited for me.
I thought about how tired,
about how lonely,
about how miserable you must have been.
I am aware that you are right beside me as I'm typing these words,
for it is Ramadhan.
I just wanted to say how miserable I have been.
My mind went blank, all I know was that I had to see you.
To tell you I miss you.
I'm not going to be foolish.
I won't dream of a great love.
I won't dream of a love that will last forever.
Those things will never come true.
I don't want to be hurt again.
I am so used to feeling lonely,
That loneliness thought me a sense of comfort.
But only gets bitter each day.
You and I were speaking the same language.
But we'll never understand each other.
That's because we're both so selfish
We were both screaming to make our voices heard.
That's why we drown each other out.
I did not meant to say any harsh words.
I'm sorry for not being a filial son.
I'm sorry for not understanding you while you were at the final stage of cancer.
You were right when you said you shouldnt have brought me up.
Although I understand you did not mean it.
Please forgive me, you left me too harshly.
But I can't buy time.
All I want is a year.
or even just a month,
just one more day
just one more hour
to say Thank You
I will treasure this life you gave me
I will make each day count
and I will never forget the sacrifices you made for me
Happy Ramadhan.
end of message,
rahmat khairudin
Rahmat~ ~ 9:22 AM
Monday, August 31, 2009
Well, I had dinner with two groups of people. My "hallow" friends on the 30 and my Fuchun secondary school friends on the 31. Both were memorable. I don't know exactly how to post pictures on blog, or I can share with ya. Fortunately, you can still see both dinners on my Facebook yeah?
Let's start of with 30 August.
well it was for Johnson's birthday and it was also like a reunion :D
Mandy, Aixin, CSY and Nasir was there. We ate at Siam kitchen restaurant in search of halal food to break fast. The price there was also "halal" :D as in expensive hahaha
It was really funny, Johnson's birthday present was wrapt with several layers of gift wrapper and worst, some asian band poster.... which is really gay for Johnson hahahahaha.
thanks to the planners of the birthday gathering, we all hope Johnson had fun which he did. Thanks to CSY for buying the T-shirt and Mandy for getting the card. They are life savers :)
31 AUGUST is a reunion of good days.
Caliz, Athifah, Wati, Syaza, Ain, Alif and Herman. We had the break fast of Ramadhan at my house and it was really sweet of them. There was cakes, Kuey Tieow, and best of all Chin Chow. It was heart warming, especially to get to host at my home and at the same time, dinner which had been prepared at Syaza's house.
Ain as usual.... makes the dinner "perfect" by her food testing hahaha, Athifah made an awesome chin chow, I must admit, My first time seeing how chin chow is being prepared. Herman came an hour late as he just finished his exam at Singapore polytechnic. I felt that the Kuey Tieow isnt that bad, it was fine :)
I wanna say a million thanks to all for preparing and coming. What's more sweet of them, they actually washed the dishes for me and I only realised that after they left and when I wanted to wash the dishes. Thanks thanks thanks :D Great dinner with you guys, I will never forget this heart warming dinner ^ ^
end of story,
rahmat khairudin
Let's start of with 30 August.
well it was for Johnson's birthday and it was also like a reunion :D
Mandy, Aixin, CSY and Nasir was there. We ate at Siam kitchen restaurant in search of halal food to break fast. The price there was also "halal" :D as in expensive hahaha
It was really funny, Johnson's birthday present was wrapt with several layers of gift wrapper and worst, some asian band poster.... which is really gay for Johnson hahahahaha.
thanks to the planners of the birthday gathering, we all hope Johnson had fun which he did. Thanks to CSY for buying the T-shirt and Mandy for getting the card. They are life savers :)
31 AUGUST is a reunion of good days.
Caliz, Athifah, Wati, Syaza, Ain, Alif and Herman. We had the break fast of Ramadhan at my house and it was really sweet of them. There was cakes, Kuey Tieow, and best of all Chin Chow. It was heart warming, especially to get to host at my home and at the same time, dinner which had been prepared at Syaza's house.
Ain as usual.... makes the dinner "perfect" by her food testing hahaha, Athifah made an awesome chin chow, I must admit, My first time seeing how chin chow is being prepared. Herman came an hour late as he just finished his exam at Singapore polytechnic. I felt that the Kuey Tieow isnt that bad, it was fine :)
I wanna say a million thanks to all for preparing and coming. What's more sweet of them, they actually washed the dishes for me and I only realised that after they left and when I wanted to wash the dishes. Thanks thanks thanks :D Great dinner with you guys, I will never forget this heart warming dinner ^ ^
end of story,
rahmat khairudin
Rahmat~ ~ 7:07 AM
Sunday, August 30, 2009
To wonder whether will you still be alive on that day. For all I know, I got the prime target:
1O YEARS from now, I will be a MILLIONAIR! NEVER FEAR >>> (31/12/2019)
Yeah that is pretty obvious on my facebook profile :D apart from that, I was just wondering whether will I still be in contact with the people I know today. Since secondary school I was known to be the "communist" in history class.... like wth, so what about currently?
1st
Already banshee faded into ashes, the few that Im still in close contact are Vivian, Vernon, Ben, Petrine... we must admit, nothing last forever xP did I mention I sometimes felt odd being in the group because there were so much differences.
They play games, I dont, they speak chinese I dont, they eat non halal I dont, they eat at exquisite restaurants most of the time... well those were the days. for the record, Han was only there once in a while. so 10 years time? meh... maybe 0_o most in common is lame jokes with Vernon, similar songs with Vivian and same fashion sense with Ben. this will be my last entry regarding Banshee, so let's keep it in our memories :)
2nd
I swear Im glad to leave Fuchun eversince the raya incident, it really pains me and curse those who went for all I care! .............(sound so gay) :D well that was my thought before O levels but things change. I want to come to conclusion on this topic, situation is forgiven, forgoten. Well 10 years time, the people who are permenantly important: they know who they are :)
Herman will be a famous event manager for all we know in 10 years time, Caliz would be a popular mass communication person, Taufiq is the busiest accountant for all we know, Diaz would be a director of doctors. Sean a pilot licence holder, Mona would be a bollywood star hahaha jk jk, I meant Ain...Tony, Alif and the rest, Who knows? possibilities are endless. 10 years is a long long time... ^^
3rd
when Im a millionair(not hot air)
I wanna go to Africa, Indonesia, India... places with slums. I wanna built a proper home for these people and to provide food and work! Im a future Landscape Architect and I believe these efforts is clearly possible. It involves employing and building. Oh yes, and as a landscape architect,I will do the best that I can as an ENVIRONMENTALIST and leave a LEGACY WHEN I DIE MWAHAHAHAHA (the death part is not within 10 years) xD
4th
1O years attitude lookout, I think I might still prefer being alone. I HATE that lady who calls me a loner, bloody hell,it's definitely better than attention seeker, right? right?
lemme guess, I will be wiser than a lawyer, straighter than a ruler, richer than gold, brighter than the sun..... darker then a, well not planning to :D hahaha jk jk,
thanks for viewing!
end of story,
rahmat khairudin
1O YEARS from now, I will be a MILLIONAIR! NEVER FEAR >>> (31/12/2019)
Yeah that is pretty obvious on my facebook profile :D apart from that, I was just wondering whether will I still be in contact with the people I know today. Since secondary school I was known to be the "communist" in history class.... like wth, so what about currently?
1st
Already banshee faded into ashes, the few that Im still in close contact are Vivian, Vernon, Ben, Petrine... we must admit, nothing last forever xP did I mention I sometimes felt odd being in the group because there were so much differences.
They play games, I dont, they speak chinese I dont, they eat non halal I dont, they eat at exquisite restaurants most of the time... well those were the days. for the record, Han was only there once in a while. so 10 years time? meh... maybe 0_o most in common is lame jokes with Vernon, similar songs with Vivian and same fashion sense with Ben. this will be my last entry regarding Banshee, so let's keep it in our memories :)
2nd
I swear Im glad to leave Fuchun eversince the raya incident, it really pains me and curse those who went for all I care! .............(sound so gay) :D well that was my thought before O levels but things change. I want to come to conclusion on this topic, situation is forgiven, forgoten. Well 10 years time, the people who are permenantly important: they know who they are :)
Herman will be a famous event manager for all we know in 10 years time, Caliz would be a popular mass communication person, Taufiq is the busiest accountant for all we know, Diaz would be a director of doctors. Sean a pilot licence holder, Mona would be a bollywood star hahaha jk jk, I meant Ain...Tony, Alif and the rest, Who knows? possibilities are endless. 10 years is a long long time... ^^
3rd
when Im a millionair(not hot air)
I wanna go to Africa, Indonesia, India... places with slums. I wanna built a proper home for these people and to provide food and work! Im a future Landscape Architect and I believe these efforts is clearly possible. It involves employing and building. Oh yes, and as a landscape architect,I will do the best that I can as an ENVIRONMENTALIST and leave a LEGACY WHEN I DIE MWAHAHAHAHA (the death part is not within 10 years) xD
4th
1O years attitude lookout, I think I might still prefer being alone. I HATE that lady who calls me a loner, bloody hell,it's definitely better than attention seeker, right? right?
lemme guess, I will be wiser than a lawyer, straighter than a ruler, richer than gold, brighter than the sun..... darker then a, well not planning to :D hahaha jk jk,
thanks for viewing!
end of story,
rahmat khairudin
Labels: forward looking
Rahmat~ ~ 12:06 AM
Friday, May 8, 2009
Dear diary,
my pen has ran out of ink hence here I am once again, writing about things that may be to some interest for some, some of those who wonder's what happen behind closed doors.
PARTY
ZOUK was fun! :D/boring at first though. Half the time I sat there watching twats on the stage doing fashion runway, I think to myself.... I DID NOT PAY 10 BUCKS FOR THIS!!! but then it was fun when the music started XD My fav song, i cant recall the title but was by suolja boy, I think it's kiss me through the phone ^ ^ and imsonia XD dance and sing and scream.... and I got soarthroat now. Went there with my bestfriend Herman, with two of my other bestfriend Cheng and Liu Fang and Herman's classmates. The met with Sean from secondary school, Joshua and Justin from CSCC, well we dance together and it was fun
CONDOLLENCE
to Taufik over his father's departure :/ I may have experience how he felt but I don't know how he is feeling now. All I'm hoping is that he is a stronger guy than me... which I am sure he is. Death is certain and it's part of life, no one can avoid it. After a while, I'm starting to feel the pinch once again.
DEEP SHIT.
I joined 8 CCAs :D
Allow me to introduce to you the 8 CCAs: Changi Ambassador
Adventure Club
Sports Club
Community Service Cultural Club
String Ensemble (violin)
Paintball
Sife (overseas business experience)
Windsurfing Club
So bored with life, now so occupied with life XD
So desperate to join everything, now so desperate to quit something
So uncertain about future, now so certain it wont be easy :P
my pen has ran out of ink hence here I am once again, writing about things that may be to some interest for some, some of those who wonder's what happen behind closed doors.
PARTY
ZOUK was fun! :D/boring at first though. Half the time I sat there watching twats on the stage doing fashion runway, I think to myself.... I DID NOT PAY 10 BUCKS FOR THIS!!! but then it was fun when the music started XD My fav song, i cant recall the title but was by suolja boy, I think it's kiss me through the phone ^ ^ and imsonia XD dance and sing and scream.... and I got soarthroat now. Went there with my bestfriend Herman, with two of my other bestfriend Cheng and Liu Fang and Herman's classmates. The met with Sean from secondary school, Joshua and Justin from CSCC, well we dance together and it was fun
CONDOLLENCE
to Taufik over his father's departure :/ I may have experience how he felt but I don't know how he is feeling now. All I'm hoping is that he is a stronger guy than me... which I am sure he is. Death is certain and it's part of life, no one can avoid it. After a while, I'm starting to feel the pinch once again.
DEEP SHIT.
I joined 8 CCAs :D
Allow me to introduce to you the 8 CCAs: Changi Ambassador
Adventure Club
Sports Club
Community Service Cultural Club
String Ensemble (violin)
Paintball
Sife (overseas business experience)
Windsurfing Club
So bored with life, now so occupied with life XD
So desperate to join everything, now so desperate to quit something
So uncertain about future, now so certain it wont be easy :P
Rahmat~ ~ 7:50 PM
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Dear Diary,
I always write to you but tonight I transfer to the blog
NO DOUBT life has been awesome is Singapore Polytechnic. I had the best of both worlds and a great start as a FRESHMAN xD I made 3 new family: BANSHEE, HALLOW and DLA01/02. Banshee and hallow are the groups that I was assign to during freshman orientation in CSCC(community service and cultural club) and in both group, I was so called cheerleader... sounds femmy right? no no no don't get the wrong idea hahaha :D not with the pom pom craps XD In DLA, they are my classmates..... sweet of em, they nominated me as they Class Representative and my teacher Mr Sonny choosed me to be a Class photographer alamak :S Aww anyways thanks guys ^ ^
PS: I want my picture to be taken not taking PEOPLE'S PICTURE!!! hahaha jk jk but seriously... jks xD
Seriously I am so touched for being nominated =)
Gives me the implication that I am loved! :D hahaha jk jk
Sadly a close new pal, Lawrance has left for NYP..... :/
Also made friends close friends outside this groups namely the CSCC seniors and other close campers and Nicholas who is now my gym buddy xD
Ofcourse I wont leave out my old palls Herman, Caliz, Diaz, Fadli , Alif ,Ain , Syaz, Mona, Jess, Taufik, Sean, Namdev, the rest of 5N1 Fuchun and as much as it pains me, Fakhrul... after 11 years of education, we finally kena drift roads... but wait, can still study/ go SENTOSA together! :D
My Class is like so cool, we all had our own desk each, I'm surrounded by my close palls, Andreau, Marcia, Ong, Ari, Ashiqien , Piquin and the rest of the class namely Cheng, Andy, Liu Fang, Ho Soon, Feezah, Amirul, Collin, Zaki, Elisha, Dzuzu, Nisa etc the rest they are all really cool!
I am really trying to cope with my Landscape course, like wth I need to write my entire essay in caps! so i made like a zillion errors and really flunk my tenses :s
Currently looking forward to this Thursday, going to ZOUK! :D
Hey, I'll update my blog more, currently as much as it pains me, it's 2 07AM and my dad thinks I'm up to no good, I'm a Good boy!!!! :D anyways not sure wat to write aswell, I'll write more soon currently sleepy sia, thanks for reading =)
Windsword,out*******************************
I always write to you but tonight I transfer to the blog
NO DOUBT life has been awesome is Singapore Polytechnic. I had the best of both worlds and a great start as a FRESHMAN xD I made 3 new family: BANSHEE, HALLOW and DLA01/02. Banshee and hallow are the groups that I was assign to during freshman orientation in CSCC(community service and cultural club) and in both group, I was so called cheerleader... sounds femmy right? no no no don't get the wrong idea hahaha :D not with the pom pom craps XD In DLA, they are my classmates..... sweet of em, they nominated me as they Class Representative and my teacher Mr Sonny choosed me to be a Class photographer alamak :S Aww anyways thanks guys ^ ^
PS: I want my picture to be taken not taking PEOPLE'S PICTURE!!! hahaha jk jk but seriously... jks xD
Seriously I am so touched for being nominated =)
Gives me the implication that I am loved! :D hahaha jk jk
Sadly a close new pal, Lawrance has left for NYP..... :/
Also made friends close friends outside this groups namely the CSCC seniors and other close campers and Nicholas who is now my gym buddy xD
Ofcourse I wont leave out my old palls Herman, Caliz, Diaz, Fadli , Alif ,Ain , Syaz, Mona, Jess, Taufik, Sean, Namdev, the rest of 5N1 Fuchun and as much as it pains me, Fakhrul... after 11 years of education, we finally kena drift roads... but wait, can still study/ go SENTOSA together! :D
My Class is like so cool, we all had our own desk each, I'm surrounded by my close palls, Andreau, Marcia, Ong, Ari, Ashiqien , Piquin and the rest of the class namely Cheng, Andy, Liu Fang, Ho Soon, Feezah, Amirul, Collin, Zaki, Elisha, Dzuzu, Nisa etc the rest they are all really cool!
I am really trying to cope with my Landscape course, like wth I need to write my entire essay in caps! so i made like a zillion errors and really flunk my tenses :s
Currently looking forward to this Thursday, going to ZOUK! :D
Hey, I'll update my blog more, currently as much as it pains me, it's 2 07AM and my dad thinks I'm up to no good, I'm a Good boy!!!! :D anyways not sure wat to write aswell, I'll write more soon currently sleepy sia, thanks for reading =)
Windsword,out*******************************
Rahmat~ ~ 10:19 AM